The Harsh Reality

All I Think About Is You

So it is very obvious that I have not written in my blog for some time now, well I have to be honest, I just have not been up to sharing my feelings with everyone about my husband going overseas. I think most know it is a hard thing to go through, but I could compare that by saying a man knows child birth is hard for his wife... lol... well it is just one of those things that no one truly knows until they are in that position.
In a very strange way the excruciating pain of missing him helps me keep the reality that he has not disappeared, he is just gone for a little while (knock on wood), the pain some how helps me feel like he is still with me... I guess I've replaced my happy marriage with pain. It is a hurt that others can not understand unless they are in my shoes. I feel as though my soul has been ripped from my body and is no longer in my possession... I just hope that it is with him keeping him safe and one day they will both return to me and make me whole again.
My kids are doing well, Liam misses his Papa very much. He gets scared when he sees things on the news related to Afghanistan so I do my best to keep him away from it. Hayden has gotten so big, and I know it is hard on Morgan. He said seeing the pictures of Hayden sitting up and standing are very weird for him to see and I can hear it in his voice that he is sad he is missing seeing all these stages.
One thing I find amazing is how some people act when a soldier goes overseas... some I'm impressed about and others not so much. The thing that I love is what some family and friends have done for Morgan. They have put out boxes at their work to collect stuff to put together care packages for Morgan and the other troops! I think that is so very kind and would like to thank Sara and Krystal for their amazing efforts. The boys are going to be so pleased! The thing that really bothers me is certain people (I'll leave names out) who we never talk to, didn't come to our wedding etc... pretend to give a shit all of a sudden... I appreciate people who actually care, but sometimes I feel they are doing it more for a "I know so and so is overseas, feel sorry for me" like excuses me? Way to take someone's bad situation and try and get fam and glory out of it... It isn't glorious, it is sad! People who use that as a way of trying to gain attention have some serious issues that need to be resolved... yes I have a burr up my ass about that, and I've spoken to Morgan about my feelings on the topic and he agrees...
Anyway, no word from the land of sand today, but I would like to express my condolences to the family of the most recent fallen soldier, Sapper Brian Collier. I thank you for your service to our country and we will NEVER forget!!! Rest In Piece